You Sound Like Alexa

Previously: Jen Tyson began her story of Alexa and Seb.

Photo and Graphic by Annie Wilson

Jen looked at Jeannie with desperation, her brows knitting.

“Yeah, I guess. I mean, yeah. I - I want to date him, I always have.”

“Does he know that, Jen?”

“Yeah, I mean I mentioned it a few weeks ago, you know, after he an Alexa broke up this summer.”

“You talked with Seb about dating officially?”

“Yeah.” Jen looked down, her white-blonde waves drooping forward.

“And what was the result?”

“I mean, we were hooking up the whole time already, so he didn’t think we needed to date.”

“So, he decided that you two wouldn’t date officially.”

“Sort of, I guess.” Jeannie looked at her hard.

“And you were okay with that? What about what you wanted? You’re allowed to decide too, Jen.”

“I mean, it’s fine. I still have him, we just aren’t, like, the way he was with Alexa.”

“Jen, may I offer you a little bit of wisdom, since I’ve been in your shoes before?” Jen warily met Jeannie’s eyes, nodding slightly. Jeannie took a deep breath. “You have choices, you do, especially with boys. But the first choice you have to make is for yourself: you have to decide if you want to be liked or if you want to be respected.” Jeannie paused, trying to consider what to say next. “I realize you really like Seb, maybe you even love him, but he should respect that - respect how you feel and do the right thing.” Jen rolled her eyes.

“You sound like Alexa.” This was the last thing Jeannie expected to hear.

“What do you mean?”

“Um, I talked to Alexa at school, like the first week of classes in August? And she kind of said the same thing. She told me that she knew it wasn’t my fault, but that I needed to decide if hooking up with Seb was worth giving up what I really wanted which was to be his girlfriend. And for me, it’s fine. You know, I enjoy sex and I enjoy sex with Seb. Maybe she didn’t.” Jeannie paused, trying to parse out what Jen had just said, her mouth opening and closing around a silent beginning.

“What - what did she mean when she said she knew it wasn’t your fault?”

“Oh, she meant about Tahoe.” Jeannie heard Mark exhale softly while Paco leaned forward slightly from across the room.

“We’ve heard a bit about Tahoe, but we don’t really know what happened. Can you tell us anything about it?”

“Um…” Jen shifted in her seat, uncrossing and re-crossing her legs. “Yeah, so Tripp had this July 4^th party at his family’s house up there. It’s a lakefront and they have like a pier and a lawn with volleyball and corn hole, and a big raft to swim to, and it’s just this fun party house. And, um, you know everybody went.”

“Okay, that sounds fun. Do you know what happened between Alexa and Seb that weekend?”

“Yeah, I mean, I didn’t know it was going to happen, but it looked like Dash and Tripp had some plan and they were kind of like, I don’t know, goading her?”

“Goading her, about what?”

“About having sex with Seb. Because apparently they hadn’t and they’d just kind of done oral stuff and Seb had told Dash that she wasn’t good at it, so they asked me if I’d show her what to do.” Jeannie was stunned. Mark was frozen solid, next to her, even the Headmaster, monitoring from the end of the table, stared at Jen with pure shock. Jeannie realized she had to say something.

“Okay, can you tell me what happened?”

“Um, I don’t really know - we were all really drinking and I didn’t know this was the plan until we were all in the bedroom.”

“Who was in the bedroom?”

“It was Tripp and Dash and Me, and then Seb came in with Alexa.”

“And who said what?” 

“Um…” she paused, her head rolling. “Gosh, I’m trying to remember, but I think it was Dash, and he kind of teased her about not giving a good BJ or something, and she was like really really surprised, and kept looking at Seb, who was just sort of laughing a long with Dash.”

“And what was Tripp doing?”

“He was in the corner, just laughing. The music was loud - I didn’t really catch everything - I was hanging on the bed.”

“Then what happened?” Jeannie was trying to be gentle, getting her to move forward in her memory, but not scare her, although Jen didn’t seem to have a single nerve in her body.

“Um, I guess they were kind of joking and teasing her and then Dash told her how I was going to show her what to do, and then the next thing I know, Seb came over to the bed and sat down and I moved around him and, just, showed her.” Jeannie gulped.

“Um, what, what did Alexa do?”

“Got kind of mad. I mean, I don’t really remember because I was doing that with Seb, but I think she started yelling at Dash, but we were all so drunk - Seb was happy, he had his hand on my head and he leaned back, but like Dash and Tripp were kind of yelling and loud, and trying to get Alexa to do something. And I don’t really remember what next.” Jen offered up a shrug inside of her oversized flannel. “I kind of blacked out that night.”

“And in the morning, where did you wake up, Jen?”

“Um, I woke up in that bedroom and everyone was still there except for Alexa. We were all asleep in there. And then we got up, and I guess it was kind of late, and I had a headache - I guess a hangover, and I remember we just realized that like, everyone had left.”

“Everyone else at the party had left?”

“Yeah, it was like no-one around, no cars or anything.” Jen faded away. “So yeah, then the next time I saw Alexa was right when school started and she told me she knew the whole thing wasn’t my fault, but that maybe I needed to think about what I really wanted with Seb.”

“And - and did she sound like she was still interested in Seb?”

“No. No she basically said they would never be getting back together.” Jen nodded at Jeannie, her watery blue eyes looking at her. Jeannie felt her heart pound, and took a deep breath to slow herself down.

“Okay, thank you for clearing that up for us, Jen. No one seemed to know what happened.”

“Well, I’m sure Dash and Seb know, and Tripp, but yeah, I saw him leave earlier.” Jen faded again.

“So, um, can you tell us about Friday night? What was going on at the party when you arrived?”

“Just the usual, like everyone drinking and dancing.” 

“What were people drinking, did you see alcohol being served?”

“Well, the punch was spiked, and word went around about the little Trick or Tito’s Tripp’s Dad had gotten for the party.”

“You knew that Tripp’s Dad bought those?”

“Um, yeah, everyone knew. We always drink at Tripp’s house.” Jeannie nodded along.

“Okay, and did you have the punch or the Tito’s?”

“Both…but like, whatever. The punch was pretty strong, but I had some chips and guac.”

“Okay, and did you go with everyone to Inspiration Point?” Jen’s eyes went sideways.

“Yeah, everyone did.”

“Did you see Alexa there?” Jen kept looking sideways into nothing.

“Um, sure, she was in her little butterfly dress and Seb was talking to her and you know, just party stuff.” Jen’s mouth was a flat line as she looked back at Jeannie.

“Seb and Alexa were talking - were you okay with that?” Jen stared at her with her big, pale blue eyes.

“Um. I mean. I knew Seb was talking about getting back together with her, but like, she had told me it wasn’t going to happen, so…” The girl’s mouth twitched.

“Okay. Did you see Alexa drinking?”

“Sure, I gave her a couple bottles of the Tito’s. I think she drank them.”

“You gave them to her? Where did you get them from?”

“Tripp gave them to me, he said that Alexa looked like she was behind on drinking and that I should give them to her.” Jeannie blinked and reminded herself to breathe.

“And you did? How many?”

“Um, like two or three? I don’t remember. I kind of blacked out again - like I don’t remember much else about the party.”

“Okay, and how did you get home?”

“Um, I don’t know? Um…I went to find Seb - he was up in the parking lot, like where the view is with the benches? He said he didn’t feel great. He was sort of, out of it? I thought Alexa was with him, but he was alone, kind of passed out.”

“And what happened?”

“Um, I kind of sat in his lap and we made out, and then we went back to Tripp’s. I went home in the morning.” Her delivery was flat and matter-of-fact, like everything else she’d said, which is probably why Jeannie found it so difficult to hear it.

“Okay, thank you Jen.” Jeannie said softly, giving her a soft smile. “You’re free to collect your phone and go, but we’ll need to speak to you again in the future.” Jen’s mouth twitched again in response.

The Headmaster escorted Jen to the door, closed it and immediately returned to the table, his face was pale with shock.

“I had no idea about this. This must have been the honor code thing Alexa asked about -  I , I had no idea.” Jeannie glanced at Mark whose shoulders were clenched, his jaw in a tight line, and then looked across to Paco who had disbelief all over him. 

“I mean, she seems like she was entirely consenting and fine with it, but it’s like she’s numb somehow. It’s just so strange.” The Headmaster nodded. “Wh-what do we do for her? Can we do anything? Is there a counselor at school?” Jeannie rolled her neck and tilted her head at him.

“Yes, yes, of course. And I’m going to phone her mother.” The Headmaster sighed. “I’ll have to be delicate about it — Jen deserves her privacy too, but I feel like she needs a parent.”

“Yes, I agree. We’ll leave it with you.” The Headmaster made his exit, and Jeannie felt herself sigh, looking at Mark and Paco. Even Raj sitting next to Paco had a shocked expression. 

“Wow.” Jeannie said quietly.

“Yeah.” Mark agreed, sighing. “I think we need to get Seb Podesta in here immediately.”