You Seem Happy

Previously: Jeannie makes family dinner and her brother picks a fight.

Photo and Graphic by Annie Wilson

8:35 AM - Monday, November 3, 2014

US Park Police Office, Ft Winfield Scott, The Presidio

The morning was overcast and humid. It definitely did not feel like autumn even if it looked like it. With the later start time, Paco took Imogen to breakfast at Fred’s Place in Sausalito and he felt more relaxed than he had all weekend. He realized he liked a slower start in the morning, but knew part of its appeal was that it didn’t, or couldn’t, happen very often. It was a treat — one of the few he allowed himself. He meandered his truck down Bridgeway, taking in the view of the city skyline across the Bay. He rolled down his window and smelled the heavy salt air. The road twisted up Alexander Avenue to the Golden Gate Bridge and he noticed that there was very little wind blowing from the ocean. It was going to get warm. 

Paco arrived at the office, and let himself in to find it empty. Patrol was out, but so far it was quiet, the way it was on Saturday morning before he’d received the call about Alexa Thomas’ body. At his desk, he stared out the window over the parade ground. Below the window a huge shaggy dog leapt over the tall grass, chasing a flying ball. The dog bounded away a good distance, and then back toward the building. The ball flew again toward the Golden Gate Bridge towers in the distance, and the dog leapt away after it. It was a big, beautiful dog, flying through the grass with the kind of blissful, joyful bounce known to only to dogs. Once retrieved, the dog returned to the start with a graceful lope, ball held between a pair of smiling jaws. Moving closer to the window, Paco looked down to try to see who was playing with the dog and smiled.

Jeannie flung the ChuckIt toy for Fergus again, and loved watching him go after it. Big dogs rarely get to run the way the ought to in a city, and Fergus was in his element. It was an impromptu decision to bring him along today, but it felt like the thing to do. 

Jeannie had returned to the building last night after sitting in the park for about 15 minutes. The cold night air did the trick. She let go of the argument with PJ and all his nastiness, and finally let herself start to feel the fatigue that was taking over her body. There was nothing she could do about PJ, but plenty she had to do tomorrow. 

She came up in the freight elevator only to pause just inside the door, hearing an argument going on in the kitchen. Brandon’s voice was loud, talking at PJ; she listened, leaning against the wall in the hallway. 

“What has happened to you PJ? What? I can’t figure it out - is it Mom, what is it? What makes you think any of us deserve the way you behave?” 

“Oh for fuck’s sake, don’t lecture me, do not. I’m not the fuck up.”

“Neither is Jeannie!” It was Chris’ voice this time, shouting. “Jeannie is braver and smarter than any of us. She has made a lot of decisions this year that I don’t necessarily agree with, but I have to trust that she knows what she’s doing, because that’s what you do when you love someone, PJ. And I honestly hope you will one day know what that means, but you clearly don’t at this point.” Chris got quiet again, voice low and angry. “Your sister puts on a bullet-proof vest every day just to go to work. The least you can do is appreciate that and respect it.” 

“Gimme a break, Chris, you two were as good as broken up —” 

“We were on a break, PJ. We were never broken up. There’s a difference.” Jeannie’s heart swelled as she stood in the shadowy hallway. “Not ever. Jeannie moved in here to help your father, which isn’t something you were willing to do, I might add, and my work was crazy. We have been through it, for sure, but we are all good, and frankly, I don’t understand why our relationship is your preoccupation.”

“My preoccupation.” PJ mocked.

“She failed a test, PJ. That’s all. And she’s moved on from it. Why can’t you? She does not deserve your nasty bullshit but it seems you have an endless amount to give out. Where does it even come from?” Chris was exasperated from his tone of voice. Anyone that knew him would know not to test him further.

“That’s what I want to know.” Brandon said quietly. PJ made no response. “And she’s right, and Dad’s right — if you’re going to behave this way, don’t bother showing up again.” Suddenly, PJ burst out of the swinging kitchen door, jacket in hand. He paused, seeing her standing there and glared at her with his blank eyes. She set her jaw and tilted her head at him. 

“You need to go to therapy.” She said quietly. Her brother looked her over and then bolted toward the front door. Taking a deep breath, she went into the kitchen to find Chris leaning on the back of a kitchen chair, Brandon pacing. She looked at both of them quietly. “How long was that going on?” She asked.

“Since you left.” Chris breathed. She nodded. 

“Orla’s with Dad, they’re having pie.” She nodded again. Chris came over and kissed her.

“We’ll do the dishes - go on to bed. I’ll come say goodnight.” 

When he did, he brought her dahlias into her room, putting them on the desk. Chris insisted he would be there only until she fell asleep, but she asked him to stay. Jeannie slept better than she had in weeks. He was gone by the time she woke up, but he’d left her a note on her nightstand: “I love you. I love sleeping with you — even if it’s just sleeping.” He put in a little smiley face. 

Jeannie smiled thinking of it, watching Fergus leap over the tall grass of the parade ground. The morning was gray and weirdly warm and still, but she felt altogether better than she had in a long time. 

“Morning, Jeannie.” Paco’s voice came from behind her, from under the portico of the building. Jeannie looked at him and smiled. She was sitting on one of the weathered picnic tables at the edge of the lawn, and he came over to sit with her. “Who is this guy?” He asked as Fergus ran up with his ball.

“This is Fergus. He’s my Dad’s dog. Sorry, I guess I should have asked if I could bring him in today, but it was a very last-minute idea.”

“It’s fine it’s fine. We can’t take him out on patrol, of course, but he’ll be nice to have around.” Fergus put his head right in front of Paco, who immediately rubbed his big head between his hands. Taking the ball, he grabbed the ChuckIt and tossed the ball for Ferg, who took off again. “What a cool dog.”

“He’s the best. Such a sweet guy. He’s loving this lawn.”

“I saw you from upstairs. I just got here.”

“You seem pretty happy today, Paco.” 

“Yeah, I had breakfast with Imogen at Fred’s Place so I’m full of hashbrowns and eggs. Ready to take on the day. It’s nice having a little more time.”

“I know. I usually start at 5 or 6, so this is lovely.”

“You seem happy too.”

“I am.” Jeannie smiled again as Fergus came back to them. “I slept really well. And Chris and I — well, we had a fight, but it’s kind of been brewing, you know? It needed to happen. And, now we’re good, so I’m happy about that. We got it all out.” Paco nodded silently, a slight smile on his face as he tossed the ball for Fergus again. “And I guess, I guess I’m kind of excited to see what we can do this week.” She paused, “is that bad?”

“Bad? Why bad?”

“I mean, because it’s all awful, but I guess I’m intrigued, and I kind of want to prove myself too.” Paco laughed at her a little.

“Jeannie, you’ve more than proven yourself in just two days. Don’t worry about that.” Paco said, “but, yeah, I get you. I want to figure it out too.”

“What’s happening out here?” The pair of them twisted around on the picnic table to see Mark heading toward them, metal thermos in hand. 

“Hanging out, having a chat.” Jeannie said. Fergus dashed forward with his ball and galloped around Mark playfully. 

“Who is this beast?” Mark laughed at him.

“Fergus.” Both Paco and Jeannie said together, both of them laughing. 

“He’s in charge of team morale.” Jeannie said, smiling.

“Okay, good.” Mark said nodding. “Should we get to work?”