We Can Do This
Previously: Jeannie asks Chris about game theory.
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08:37 AM - Thursday, November 6, 2014
US Park Police Office, Ft Winfield Scott, The Presidio
Jeannie had discarded her suit jacket in the front seat — the weather was in the high 50s, and would probably hit the low 70s by the end of the day. Typical San Francisco November weather: clear and stunning, warm sunlight, deep chill in the shadows. Parking Martha at the Park Police, she draped the jacket over her arm and grabbed the bag of breakfast sandwiches she’d picked up at the Marina Deli. It seemed everyone was doing their part to fuel the team with food and snacks, so she felt she had to do her part.
Entering the conference room, she found Raj, Paco, and Mark already assembled.
“I brought bacon-egg-and-cheese for everyone, but they could be split if people are so inclined.”
“Woah — Jeannie, you look nice.” Paco complimented her.
“Thank you.” She said softly, hating the flush she felt hitting her cheekbones. “It’s an old suit and I hate it but it’s all I had for a funeral.” Both Mark and Paco wore dark suits, their jackets draped on the back of their chairs. “I’m glad we didn’t go with uniforms.”
“We may have to do uniforms tomorrow though.” Mark said, peeling away the layers of foil around his breakfast sandwich. “And if there’s a press conference...which is likely.”
“What’s tomorrow?” Jeannie asked settling into a chair. She pulled away the foil and folded it sharply, making a small placemat for the sandwich.
“Well, still TBD, but we may be serving the warrant tomorrow.” Jeannie paused, setting the bacon-egg-and-cheese down on the table untouched on the foil.
“Okay.” She said softly. Mark looked at her as he took a large bite of his sandwich.
“What?” He gobbled.
“Well, let me say this before Owen and Steph get here which will be soon.” Jeannie got up to close the conference room door and returned to the table. “Mark — if the warrant happens, I don’t want to know about it.”
“What do you mean? You’re in this. Why wouldn’t you want to know? Don’t you want to be there?” Mark retorted. Paco was busy eating, but his face was contorted in agreement.
“Look, I want to know personally, but professionally it’s better that I know nothing. And Owen and Steph too — that we we won’t have to be there, so we won’t have to tell anyone at the station. Do you understand?” She looked at Mark for a long moment, and then at Paco. “The less they know the better, and if I know anything I have to tell them, so…just…don’t tell me. Okay?”
Mark finished chewing and swallowed slowly, wiping his mouth with a tiny napkin. “I thought, Jeannie, that you of all people would want to be there. Plus, I think it would be a good opportunity — you can see how a federal search warrant is executed — it would be—”
“Mark, whatever it would be, I can’t be there. Don’t you understand? I’m not going to put the investigation at risk because my command may have ties to a suspect. It’s better that I just don’t know, then I won’t be compelled to tell them. Do you get it?” Mark considered her skeptically.
“I get it, but — I’d like you to be a part of it.”
“Well, I want that too, but I’ll sit this one out, okay?” She went back to her sandwich. “Just send me a text in the morning and tell me if I need to put my uniform on.” Mark shrugged a little, taking another bite. “And definitely don’t tell Owen and Steph either. We’ll just tell them to show up at 9 as usual.”
09:47 AM - Thursday, November 6, 2014
St Vincent de Paul Church, Steiner and Green Streets, San Francisco
Mark pulled to the curb across the street from the church, Jeannie in the front seat, Paco in the back. A small crowd was gathering on the front steps of the church, bathed in the morning sunlight.
“Let’s hold up here — “ Jeannie said, “let’s wait until everyone goes inside and we can slip in the back.”
“Sure.” Mark said quietly, observing the flow of mourners.
“This way we can watch everyone.” They sat silently for a long minute, watching the activity on the far side. Spiro and Carole Thomas arrived in a limousine, holding hands as they merged into the crowd. Carole’s mother then emerged with the younger two children to follow them, followed by even older relatives from the town car behind them. Alexa Thomas’ body still had not been released from the coroner so there was no coffin. Jeannie wondered if that made the funeral better or worse.
“It’s a shame — “ Mark said quietly. “I wonder if that marriage will last now. The odds are that it won’t.”
“I know.” Jeannie whispered, watching them wide-eyed. “But they have Eva and Matteo, and usually that helps. And they’re clearly in love.”
“They are.” Mark said it simply, thinking of Katie. Paco thought of Imogen wrapping her scarf around her neck, tucking in her hair, as she left this morning. Another long silence passed. It felt like none of them breathed from within their own thoughts.
“How was your evening? How is your wife feeling?” Jeannie asked softly.
“Katie’s okay.” He wondered at Jeannie’s intuition. She seemed to know just what pressure points to apply to anyone. “She’s mad because I promised I’d finish up the nursery furniture last night and I got going and then fell asleep on the floor…overhead light on and everything.” He shook his head slightly. “I’m always letting her down somehow, it seems.”
“She’ll get over it.” Jeannie chuckled.
“She won’t get over it if I miss the hospital. Please, both of you, as friends — when the time comes, make me leave no matter what, okay? No matter what. She comes first.”
“Absolutely. Yes. I’ll knock you silly if you don’t.”
“You know it.” Paco added. “I’ll even drive you there.” Another long moment passed, with some of the students arriving. Jeannie saw Zizi’s flash of red hair with MJ’s sleek bob. Tally was with them too, following slowly — all three were in their Holy Heart uniform skirts with navy blazers on.
“What about you? What’s the deal with Chris?” Mark ventured carefully.
“What do you mean, what’s the deal?”
“You’ve been together five years?”
“Yes.” Jeannie sighed a little. “I’ve been in love with Chris since I was eight.” She rolled her head to look at Mark who looked at her in disbelief. “It’s true. It was my eighth birthday — there used to be this big old ice rink way out in the Sunset — it was kind of a dump, but it was great. It smelled like cotton candy and burnt Stauffer’s French bread pepperoni pizza, and everyone loved it. It looked like an old log cabin inside and they had a mural of snowy trees on the back wall. And it was two blocks from the beach, so it was all a little weird, but it had been there forever. It was the first time I’d been allowed to invite my entire class. And since my brothers had to be there, they were allowed to have one friend each, and Brandon invited his best friend Chris. And Chris showed up and was darting around the ice really fast — you know, just darting in and out and getting really close to the girls like he was going to make them fall? And then like spinning around them and laughing? He was being a jerk. A spectacular jerk. But he was so cute. All the girls were screaming in fear, clinging to each other on the ice, partly legit scared of him, but also enamored by this cute older boy. But, no one was really having a fun time, and he just kept at it.”
“I think I know were this is going.” Paco put in. “You did something about it?”
“I did. I turned around and skated against the direction and went right for him. I snuck up on him and checked him in the shoulder and he got knocked right on his ass — like he slid away on his backside like a polar bear, you know? So I go up to him, and he’s sitting there on the ice looking up at me with these big blue eyes and I said “Stop being a jerk. It’s MY birthday, and you’re scaring MY friends. They’re here for me, and you’re scaring them, so stop it.” And he just looked at me, helpless on his wet, frozen butt, and I felt so powerful. I skated away and had the best birthday party. He didn’t get out of line again. There’s even a picture of him right next to me when I blew out the candles.”
“Wow.” Mark chuckled.
“Yeah, and I had a crush on him every day after that for years. He didn’t even notice me until I was about 18, just finishing high school. He tried to chat me up one time and my brother put a stop to it immediately. But, he brought me flowers before we all went off to school that summer, which I won’t ever forget. His family are florists, so he always worked at the flower mart.”
“So how did you get together?” Paco asked moving to the middle of the back seat.
“Um…it wasn’t until late 2008. The election had just happened. I was on a date, actually, at that bar in the basement of the Hay Adams?”
“I love that bar — very old school.” Mark agreed. "I used to go there whenever I came in from Quantico.”
“Yeah, and I really liked this guy.” Jeannie shook her head a little. “He was a DC correspondent for the BBC — smart, English, well-dressed…he finally asked me out and this was our date. So, we sit down in this dark little downstairs bar, and when the server brought our cocktails, she said they were courtesy of the gentleman at the bar…and it was Chris.”
“Wow, you were on a date? That’s a move.”
“Kind of? And he said hello, and there was chemistry, but I also didn’t know what to think. Here’s this guy I like that I really wanted to date, and then here’s this guy I’ve been in love with my whole life and he’s just there? I’ve never felt the universe intervene so intensely.”
“Wow. I’m so invested in this story now.” Paco said.
“Yeah, I mean, Chris didn’t even ask for my number or anything, it was just like — okay, hope to see you at home at Christmas — and that was it. So, I go home for Christmas and my parents used to have this big holiday party, and Chris shows up with his family. Neither of my brothers were there, so we ended up hanging out and talking, and then the next day he invited me out, and lunch turned into cocktails turned into dinner turned into a jazz club turned into late night burgers turned into getting a ton of donuts at Bob’s…we took all these donuts down to the Flower Mart at around 3am — it was right when all the deliveries were coming in, and the guys at the mart were unloading them and putting together Christmas orders for clients…and we brought them donuts and helped out. Chris finally dropped me home around 7am, and —” Jeannie faded. “And I knew it was the best night of my life.” She chewed her bottom lip. “So he asked me to come to New York after New Year’s so we could have proper date, and that was that.” Everyone got quiet again. “No one plays the long game like Chris.” Jeannie thought of their chat about game theory this morning.
“So? What’s the plan?” Mark ventured. “You gonna marry the guy or what? Please don’t tell me you don’t believe in marriage or something like that.”
Jeannie sighed quietly. “Of course I believe in marriage, and of course I want to marry him.” She got quiet again. “But…um…well, maybe you don’t remember me saying that my Mom died two years ago?” She glanced at Mark. “And since then…all of our plans have just sort of, I don’t know. It’s — it’s been hard for me to even consider them.” Her voice cracked as she said it. “And then I failed the bar, and joined the PD, and he didn’t understand either of those things, so we were barely speaking to each other, and then my Dad had a stroke….and I moved out.” Mark didn’t know how to react to this litany. “And that was this summer, and we didn’t talk. I told him I needed space and he gave me space, but the whole time I wanted him in my space, you know? I hated it. And I thought it was over, but then I saw him at a party in October and it wasn’t over, and then I avoided him all this last month again until we all ran into him at the Balboa on Sunday.”
“And since Sunday?” Mark sputtered, looking over at Jeannie, whose face was bent. Paco leaned forward from the back seat.
“Since Sunday…well, we had a big fight and talked a lot about things. And it seems better. It is better, I mean it’s always better with him.” She paused, rolling her lips together. “Always. I — I —it was the worst being without him, and I don’t want a life without him in it.” Her eyes filled. “He’s really — the only person I’ve ever loved in my whole life.” She shrugged a little. “And you know, we talked about it last night — it’s really me, it’s my fault. I’m not processing what I need to — you know, I like — I need to let go of…all of it...all this grief. I have to, so we’ll be able to move forward. It’s just really hard — I haven’t exactly had time to fall apart, you know? And I don’t want to put it on him, he doesn’t deserve that.”
“Jeannie —” Mark sighed. “That’s what partnership is, you share the good and the bad. You get through things together.” She nodded silently.
“That’s what he told me too. But, you know, he kind of idolizes me — he thinks I’m perfect and I feel like I’ll shatter any illusions he has left.”
“After five years you think he has any illusions?” Mark shook his head a little and chuckled. “My wife is super pregnant right now. It’s weird and awkward and she’s uncomfortable and huge, and I’m obsessed with her. I have no illusions — she is a completely different person, not just physically, but like, she’s on a new level with the baby inside. She’s like, tapped into some kind of higher source. It’s strange, but great. And while this surprises me, I’m also rubbing her swollen feet and dealing with her farts.” Jeannie giggled a little. “Yeah — it’s real. And I know it’s going to get more real very quickly here. The illusions aren’t even a factor.”
The car got quiet again and Jeannie dabbed her eyes slightly. “This — this case is kind of making me face it all. I know I’m not supposed to get emotional, but I can’t help it. So this, on top of all of the other emotions I’ve been putting down — I feel like I could cry all day long.”
“Jeannie, this case is making all of us emotional.” Paco offered. “At least it’s making me emotional. It’s awful.”
“Me too.” Mark added, shifting in his seat. “I’m about to be a father. I can’t imagine what Spiro Thomas is going through right now — I don’t want to know.”
“Me neither. All we can do is get this solved, right?” Paco chimed in with his standard optimism. “We can do that for them.” Paco looked between Jeannie and Mark. “We’re close, guys — we’re really close. We can do this.” Jeannie rolled her head against the headrest to look at Paco.
“We can. We will.” She sighed softly. “We should get in there and see who’s shown up.”
❤️